All lubed up...

Today was my second appointment with the cardiologist. From the parking garage, I rode in the elevator with a "physician." We both got out on the same floor. As soon as we exited he let a pretty healthy fart that I believe was wet. I laughed & he didn't miss a step as he walked away. I promptly showed up to the office 5 minutes early & found my place in a comfy chair with the sports section. I don't think I'd read the paper since I lived in carson & received the Nevada Appeal for free! Yes, it was nice, but not nice enough to pay for...Anyway, not 30 seconds into reading this 65+ yr old dude barks at me, "whats nevada gunna do this saturday?" I told him I had no clue. I didn't even know who they're playing. He then informed me that he lost good money on them last week & missed a few of his other bets. At that point I started nodding & looked back at the paper. I think the last thing he told me was that he'd placed 5 $10,000 bets in his life & won 4 of them. I let him know I'd seen $10,000. At that point I was called in, & asked for the sports page & told me good luck. Weird guy.

I was ready to wait for an hour in the back room (because Louie did) so I brought the classifieds...you never know who's getting rid of quality guitar gear for a smoking deal. We got back to the room & the lady told me to take my shirt(s) off & lay on the table facing her. No waiting. Nice. I felt like a nude model...at least half nude. She then made sure I was adequately lubed for the echo. Interesting. I reminded myself I was paying for this. The funny part was when she asked if I grew up around here. I was waiting for the elevator music to start in the background...luckily it didn't. I was on the table for about 25 minutes. Relatively painless. It was weird to see my heart on the screen...a little scary. Met with Ram (the real cardiologist). He sat down & said..."you don't have it." He asked a question or two followed by my question or two. He proceeded to use his college words, of which I understood 2 of them from anatomy in high school. Oh the good ol' days.

Detour

A small detour from my last post...It appears that sometime between after I left work yesterday & arrived this morning, someone crawled under my desk & turned off my power strip. This has my computer, printer, and etc plugged into it. Louie was out of the office yesterday & I might have possibly left a little early. Could it have been pastor letting me know that he's always watching? Or, perhaps someone started a new secret ministry. Time to check the alarm code logs...Yes it's true, I can do that...which narrows down who it could be. I will find you...and then ask what you were doing under my desk...I hope you didn't sniff my chair...

My first beverage(s) part 1

I remember believing that alcohol was bad & that those who partook were also bad. I also remember that people who gambled were sinning because gambling was a sin. My earliest memories of alcohol were when I lived in reno the first time. I remember there being wine in the pantry. I never got to taste it, but it was there. We then moved & I don't remember alcohol in the house other than the Sutter Home "cooking wine" that was hidden in the top cabinet in the very back. When we'd go to my grandma's cabin, there'd be Budweiser in the fridge. I wondered why there was Bud in the fridge but never asked. I did ask to taste it but my dad said it tasted like horse piss. He wasn't lying. Thanks Pop. Budweiser is horrible. I remember getting brave one day & I stood on the counter to try the "cooking wine." It was for when my mom cooked beef burgandy...it was pretty gross.

Like I said, my belief growing up was that alcohol was bad. I never really "experimented" with alcohol & that was mostly out of fear. I think my first drink ever was at the Reno Hilton. A guy named Davey worked the ticket counter & I went with my older brother & some of his buddies to some lame country show. I was 16 or 17. I learned a few things that night...drink toks were cool, orange juice & vodka went good together, and Heineken tasted like skunk. To Be Continued...