Bathtubs & Memories

About two weeks ago, I was relaxing in my bathtub. I wasn't reading, watching tv, or making bubbles. I was just laying there. It was nice. I closed my eyes & memories began rushing through my mind. All the thoughts were from roughly the same time period in my life. My older brother Johnny was sick with cancer, which took him & my mom to San Francisco for extended periods of time. The church office seemed like it was a second home to me, as I was usually there or at home alone, or maybe my older brother Joel was there. I can't really remember. So I was having flashes of me & my brother Joel at 430 Janelle St. in Carson riding our bikes in the parking lot. Usually we would go to the 711 down the street & I was faced with my biggest choice of the day...Strawberry or Grape Welches soda. I don't think I could handle either of those now due to the sugar content. On this particular day that flashed in my mind, we got slurpees instead of welches. It was great. Coca-Cola slurpees on a hot day. I remember riding around in the parking lot pretending that we were Ponch & Jon from Chips. I ran into my brother and spilled his slurpee but held onto mine. I felt horrible then & I was just as crushed as I was laying in the bathtub. I thought "why is this memory so fresh, so painful that I got the lower lip quiver." I still don't know. I didn't receive any beating or any verbal lashing for the accident. Nevertheless, it left me feeling like a failure.

My mind quickly jumped memories to my favorite pastime at the church office. There was a soundproof room off one of the rooms. (I often checked the quality of the soundproofing like only an 8 year old Ben could). I had a tv where I could watch movies. This closet also doubled as a storage room for miscellaneous stuff. Everyday I would watch the same movie over and over, and over and over. It was Joseph and His Brothers by Hannah Barbara. It told the OT story of Joseph from his dreams to his reuniting with his slavetrading brothers. It has always been my favorite.

Jumping memories again, I would often go through what was in storage. I found boxes that said cereal. Inside these big boxes were at least 10 boxes of cereal. This was great. Even better was that each box had a hot wheel inside it...And my mom always wondered where I got all my sweet hot wheels.
I just wanted to take a bath. I got a lot more that I expected.

My fieldtrip to the OBGYN

So the word is mostly out. Jessica is pregnant & is enjoying almost every minute of it. I think the puking part is slightly overrated but I hear it's a good sign & should only last another week or two. Yesterday was her first official appointment with the good doctor. The good doctor is actually someone that I've known for a long time. The funny thing is that through my interactions with him when I was younger, he was inspired to have kids of his own. He now has 4. I could make this into a post all about "the good doctor" but I'll attempt to stay on topic.
Anyway, I'd never been to the jiny doctor before so I was a little apprehensive with what was about to happen. It was all normal until the nurse came into the room and told Jessica that she had to get naked & put on this gown that leaves the caboose uncovered. (I actually wanted to take one or two home). The nurse left & Jessica started to "get ready." This was weird because I had several different thoughts going through my mind & I had to remind myself that the clothes were coming off for a reason that didn't include me. Once I got over it, the doctor finally came in. This was the scenario that had gone through my mind several times & every time it ended awkwardly. So anyway, the "checkup" ensued & it was way less awkward than I thought, however, I was just waiting for the doctor to look at me & give a dirty smile, at which point I would attack to defend the honor of my woman. It didn't happen, but I was ready. He couldn't find a heartbeat which was a little unsettling, but he said that we'd do a ultrasound to we could see what was going on. The whole time I was thinking, "God, a little help here." We got into the room & the procedure began. Soon I saw the image. It was moving. This brought different feelings ranging from relief, that baby was alive, to surprise that the baby was real & not just something that we talked about. It looks like the baby is either a week older than we thought or is just big, which would make sense. It looks like an alien which took me straight to the X-Files. I can't remember my wife being abducted, but I asked if she had any flashing memories of bright lights and wierd experiments. No luck. It's still weird to say the least. Everything is good & I left feeling good about the visit & I even shook the docs hand when we left. I'm ok, until the next visit...